This quote is brought to you by the letter E

I came across this quote while reading last week's issue of Entertainment Weekly. I wasn't going to blog about it, but then I realized yesterday's post was depressing. I feel better now. Thus:

"The silent e is the ninja of the English alphabet."

It just makes me smile.

Please enjoy. That is all for today.

Why English Teachers Shouldn't Do Math

I shouldn't have let myself do the math.

Feeling unappreciated and overworked today, I decided to crunch some numbers. I wanted to know how many hours I spend per month grading essays in the three sections of AP Language I teach and how that compares with the allotted amount of prep time I am given during that very same month.

Ack and alas! The results were not favorable.

In an average month, I receive six essays per student. I have 105 AP students. That's 630 essays per month that I read through, comment on, assign a grade to, and ultimately enter into my grading program.

Each of these essays is typically two pages long. That's 1260 pages. I'd estimate that it takes me about two minutes per page, conservatively, to grade for a total of 2520 minutes or 42 hours.

In that same average month, I receive 1.5 hours of prep time per day. Assuming a month is four school weeks long (which is what the above figures are based on as well) that's a total of 30 hours of prep time.

30 hours of prep - 42 hours of AP essays = -12 hours of time to do work

This figure doesn't include any prep for what I teach (planning lessons, copying, etc.), meetings I attend, the rest of the grading I do for AP (weekly vocab tests, grammar tests, in-class work, homework, etc.), or the other two classes I teach and grade work for.

No wonder I'm exhausted. No wonder I occasionally bite a kid's head off when she innocently asks me if I'll stay after school so she can take the two hour final she couldn't make it to. No wonder teachers tend to leave the profession after 3-5 years.

No wonder I hate math.

About Broccoli

I think I should explain the title of my blog. I was reading in my favorite creative writing book the other day, Bird by Bird, and came across one of the greatest quotes about writing I've ever read:

"Listen to your broccoli, and your broccoli will tell you how to eat it." - Mel Brooks

At first, I just thought it was funny. And then, for no particular reason whatsoever, I pulled an index card out of my desk at work, scrawled the words across in a green pen I chose especially for the occasion, and taped it to a pile of books sitting front and center. I put my feet up on the desk and admired my handiwork.

It entertained me profusely. Mostly because my students who noticed it were like, "uh, Ms. Richter - broccoli?" in that 'are you okay' kind of voice.

"Yes, broccoli," I would reply in the most sane, matter-of-fact voice I could muster. That's when the magic started to happen.

"Do you know why broccoli?" I'd ask, seriously.

A blink or two. Blank stares. An eyebrow raise.

"Because it's a metaphor for life!" I'd say, enthusiastically.

My students would reply with "Cool" or "Oh" or "What’s a metaphor again?"

Then I’d sigh because the magic was almost there.

The thing I love most about the quote and the reason I named my blog "Searching for Broccoli" is because I truly believe that as a writer if I get to know my characters well enough and patiently listen to their stories unfold in my mind, I will know how to write them.

I am hungry and my broccoli will teach me how to eat.

I wonder...

I wonder if I should start blogging.

That is all for today, I think.